Today has not started out as a good day.
I can’t breathe through my right nostril, which made it really hard to sleep last night.
My husband had to work really late last night (yay tech rehearsals!), so added to the regular night wakings of the kids I was sleeping lightly waiting for him to get home safely.
Last night was basically this: Sleep, nurse, half-listen for husband, sleep, snuggle bad dream away, sleep. Not super restful-especially with half a nose. My husband must have sensed this because even though he was home very late last night he refused my offer to let him sleep and he got up with the kids. It was great-a little extra sleep would really help today.
Well, it would have helped if I hadn’t been woken up a short time later by a massive tantrum thrown by our son about cereal. It went on for quite a while. No more sleeping for me.
So I’m up and I’m cranky. I get crankier when our big girl decides that throwing tantrums is awesome and she’s going to throw one, too.
One nostril, 2 cranky big kids, a baby who is rather clingy these days, and a husband who is heading off to work. NOT how I had hoped to start today. I had wanted to GET OUT and run this morning but the half-nose and rain deterred me. Now I am extra cranky. Great.
To escape for a minute I check my facey pages. Some funny stuff which helps, some political stuff that for me (a Democrat) is encouraging-the general going-ons of my friends and family. I’m feeling a little lighter.
Then I see a post on a community page for my town. It’s an update about a little girl-a baby- who is just one year old and has been fighting rhabdoid cancer for a while now. Unfortunately the update is not a good one. The chemo treatment at St. Judes didn’t work and she is coming home to be surrounded by her family and those who love her. It is absolutely heartbreaking. I am crying as I type this. I cannot help but take my baby and imagine her in that situation.
It shouldn’t take something so crushingly sad and unnecessary to make me look at my life more clearly, but sometimes it does. When that happens we usually give thanks or offer prayers that our own family is not experiencing this or any other horrible situation.
Today, though, I am going to really try to show my thanks. Not just say “We are so lucky” and give the kids a kiss.
Today I am going to really try to show that I am thankful for the fact that my kids are healthy enough to go to school. Healthy enough to throw massive tantrums. That my baby is healthy enough to run around the house trying to find me-just because she wants to be with me.
Right now I am aware that there are so many parents who would literally give their own life if their child had the strength to do any one of those things. I will try to be equally aware of the wonderful gifts I have-healthy children, a husband who loves and supports me, food, shelter. I will show my thanks by nurturing all of those things…even with just one nostril.
Now, I know that it is almost impossible to appreciate a tantrum. Screams are not fun; conflict is not what I would call a ‘good time’-but I recently learned that (and this may be obvious to some of you already, but this perspective was new to me) conflict with/in children is actually a good thing sometimes. Apparently, it goes hand-in-hand with personal growth in a child.
So I’ll try to remember that. They are growing, evolving, and learning. I will try to show thanks for that by not getting to level 8 frustration levels right off the bat. I will show my thanks that they have the strength to evolve and grow.
I’ll finish by saying the usual stuff: hug your kids extra tight, give your partner an extra kiss, etc. I’ll go one further and ask that you show your thanks and your love to your friends, your parents. Try to find the positive in your job, your home, the fact that you can breathe through your whole nose.
Don’t just give thanks for what you have-SHOW IT.
A final thought:
If you are interested in helping out the family I mentioned earlier, donations can be made here:
or mailed here:
Alexa Ocskasy Custodial Account
c/o Newtown Savings Bank
211 Greenwood Avenue
Bethel, CT 06801
Both parents have taken leave from work to care for their baby. Anything is welcome and appreciated.
More information can also be found here:
Much love to you and yours!!