It’s almost Halloween again and for the second year in a row we are expecting a huge storm the likes of which we have never seen. A storm so big that there is no hope of survival. A storm so big that the only thing you can do is pray and hug your children. Actually, there is one thing you can do:

PANIC!! RUN AROUND AND WAVE YOUR ARMS AND PANIC!! BUY 23 GALLONS OF WATER AND PANIC!!! SPAM! QUICK-BUY SPAM!! PAAAANNNIICCCC!!!

So that’s what’s happening around us in the Northeast right now. Don’t get me wrong-it’s important to be prepared and have some water and food on hand, know where the flashlights are and some candles. Be prepared, but also realistic about the fact that you live in New England and storms happen-and even last year when we personally lost power for a week, the stores had generators so you could buy daily essentials, the town had emergency shelter and power-it wasn’t fun, but it was doable. (Full disclosure-it was easier for us than others because very good friends of ours-and their neighbors-let us stay with them. The baby was too little to be that cold and dirty).

So we’ve been getting ready, doing all the stuff I just mentioned, but also talking to the kids about it so they are aware.

Of course their big concern is Halloween and Trick-or-Treating. Above all, think about the candy. Even though the end is nigh, we have been trying to get them excited and in the spirit. Carving pumpkins, dressing up, making decorations for the house. My husband got in on the action today and drew a haunted house with our son. He made the shape and our little guy drew in some ghosts, a witch on a broom, some scary pumpkins-spooooky stuff.

Then our son drew a vampire. Apparently one of his new friends at school is going to dress up as one for Halloween. My husband could tell that the idea kind of freaked him out a bit, but they started talking about the other vampire he knew (the Count from Sesame Street), and then they realized that the vampire was in the room of the Haunted House that our son had said was the bathroom. (A ghost was taking a shower-awesome). So my husband, my darling, college faculty husband goes:

“You know what vampires do in the bathroom, right?”

Son: “No, what?”

I heard the exchange and I just KNEW what he was going to say. Wait for it….

Husband: “VAM-POOPING!!!”

The two of them both became five years old, just laughing and laughing. One would start slowing down and then the other would just spurt out:

“VAM-POOPING!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

Then they would start all over again… It was almost over when my husband, my darling, goes:

“You know what else they do?”

Son: “No, what?”

Husband: “VAM-PEEING!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!”

Hilarity ensues again….*sigh*….

Boys.

Happy Halloween! Be safe out there!!!

(BUY MORE SPAM!!!)

(And in case you were concerned, the boys both decided that Vam-poop and Vam-pee go down the Vam-plumbing. I’m sure we’ll all sleep better tonight knowing that mystery is solved.)