It must have been fate that I read a handful of great things yesterday. Little snippets about trying to find balance between work/family (which is a struggle at times whether you are a SAHM, work from home or work outside the home), about making choices that are best for your family, and-this one was the biggie fate wise-about finding and keeping your personal happiness and joy.
A friend from college posted this yesterday:
“I have come to realize that happiness is not something I can find, for something found can be lost. Happiness is something I am intrinsically and it is always there for me to draw upon.” *
In response, a wise friend of hers posted this:
“I believe the same of joy. It is something that is not acquired but it is something attached that sometimes gets covered by the muck and mire of the world. It is up to us to keep stuff off of it in order for us to radiate within which will cause our spirit to shine on through.” **
Both of those statements stayed with me yesterday. All day they were in the back of my mind. Which was helpful when someone deliberately and maliciously tried (and for a while succeeded) in mucking up my intrinsic joy and happiness.
I consider myself to be a pretty likable person. I try to be kind to others as much as possible. As much as I joke about it, I am trying my hardest to raise my children to be kind, thoughtful, intelligent, open minded people. And to be really honest, I want people to like me. Really, who doesn’t?
So when you are confronted head on by written proof that someone really doesn’t like you-borderline hate it seems-it’s hard to take.
When someone attacks your mothering skills, your value as a wife, your value as a basic human being it is hurtful. I don’t know who wouldn’t be hurt.
I let it hurt me. I knew they were wrong, but the words still hurt. But then I started realizing that by letting them hurt me I was letting them win.
So I’m changing the game. You can spew all the hate and hurt you want but instead of letting it weigh me down, I am going to use that to remind me of all the joy, love, and happiness that I have in my life.
And just to rub it in, I’m making a list.
Your anger, your bullying, your insults remind me that I am so lucky/blessed/grateful/thankful to have:
My wonderful, loving, supportive husband
My wonderful caring friends
My three wonderful children who drive me (and others) nuts at times but are mine and wonderful nonetheless
The love and support of family
My health and the health of my family
Good, healthy food
A warm, clean, safe home
A heart that can feel hurt, but that is strong enough to go back to love
A spirit that is soft enough to know hurt, but that is strong enough to know the truth and go back to light
I am so lucky/blessed/grateful/thankful to know great happiness in my life and at times know amazing moments of pure unfiltered joy.
Thanks for reminding me.
Quotes: They’re pretty awesome, so if you use them yourself make sure you give these ladies the proper credit:
*Heather A. Lord
**Nancy D. Tolson